Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
