There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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