Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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