Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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