bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize