I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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