I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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