Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
do nipples grow back?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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