You're completely useless in the revolution.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night