She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
