some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
