Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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