Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Randomize
