real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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