At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
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