I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Redeem this text for a blowjob
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Randomize
