How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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