brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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