it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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