i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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