What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
