Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
