Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
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Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
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they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
True strength comes from lack of pants
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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