Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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