Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
