don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
