All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
