whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
