Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
It was confusing and full of hummus
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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