My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
