And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
