I wannas sexs uuuuu
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
