just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
