would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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