I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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