when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
