some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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