Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Randomize
