I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
