Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
