the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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