counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
whose parrot is this?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
