Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
