There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
