....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
MIDGETS
????
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
