dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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