Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
