PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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