I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
