so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
