Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
