I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
