every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize