please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
