it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
