I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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