Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
