We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
