we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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