i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
