haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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