After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
