google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Send help, water and tortillas.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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